Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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