my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
