do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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