wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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