lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize