Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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