Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
smell my finger.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
