dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
