Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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