It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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