I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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