At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
