Too much gin, very little bucket
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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