I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
