i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
