you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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