real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
