Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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