We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
