Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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