Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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