Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
