I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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