Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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