You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
