this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize