So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
