when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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