awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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