we're blogging at a bar
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
