So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
