she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I will pee on everything he values.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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