I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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