i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and she was petting her beer can
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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