As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
