Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
