I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
