And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
