i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
