ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize