I smell stomach acid.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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