Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
