carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think people are normalizing furries
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
