The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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