Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
