she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
