Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
