you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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