hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
