I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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