i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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