It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize