I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
