guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize