so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
