What a fucking waste of an outfit
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
