so that wasnt chicken after all
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
