Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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