Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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