what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
