i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
