and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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