well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is Oprah even human
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