He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
