i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
