Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
