Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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