I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
