I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
