Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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