Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
