He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
