just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
