Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We left the knife in your bed.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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