OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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