he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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